Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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