Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Randomize
