I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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