You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
