I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
