nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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