I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
