idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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