just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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