k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
