he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
