I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
