No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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