So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize