Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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