More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize