Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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