you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
