how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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