shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
