Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
