There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
