Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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