If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
