just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
