You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
