All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
