You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
