4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
