Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
