Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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