We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
