Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
