Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
