At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
