You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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