You're my little dorito
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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