Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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