UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
