his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
