Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
