flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
