I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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