he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
