My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
BRING THE BAGELS
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
