I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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