Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
