I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
