so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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