You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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