I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
