After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
