he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My ATM looks so different sober.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
