she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize