is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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