He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
