i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
