Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
