So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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